THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED!

I'll never forget the date. December 19, 2005. In that past month, I must have visited the hospital at least twice a week, every week. My grandson was not feeling well. Tayten was tired all the time...he had no energy, lost his appetite...and for him...that's very strange. He was a healthy boy who never got sick....and ate like a horse. To top it off, he started having nose-bleeds. Of course, I blamed it on a dry house heated by wood and oil. Still, I was worried. One day the school called to say that as soon as he entered the building he fainted. I didn't know what to think. I thought maybe coming in from the cold into a warm school? Rough-housing with friends? But fainting?? I rushed him to the hospital of course...and then began a series of visits that ended up with the same results.

The nose bleeds really scared me.....a normal person can stop a nose bleed within 3 to 5 minutes, but he had stubborn nose-bleeds and bled for 20 minutes or more. Hours of waiting and finally we would see a Dr. The doctor would look at his file and see that he had asthma and read what the previous doctor had said and repeated the same advice. 'Keep doing what you're doing...give him his puffer every 4 hours and keep a humidifier in his room'. Each & every time I left the hospital frustrated. On 2 occasions they burned his nostrils to cauterize the nerves...without freezing him.

One day he woke up with a bad nosebleed....this nosebleed was very stubborn....it refused to stop. His pillowcase was covered with blood and so was his sheets. He had dripped all over the floor to the bathroom...there was blood everywhere....on the tile, in the sink, on towels. I had enough!

We headed for the hospital. When I got there, a Dr. who was visiting noticed me. He said, "I only work on weekends, and I notice that you come here regularly with your grandson.....what's the problem? He looks like a fine, healthy young man!" Finally someone cared enough to ask??.....I told him that for several months now my grandson had nosebleeds that wouldn't stop, felt weak, loss of appetite, etc. Dr. Zaroukian said....."that's not normal.....let's do some tests."

He did some blood tests, and told me it would take awhile...so I could go home and have lunch and he would call me. I live 15 minutes from the hospital. I didn't get in the door to take off my coat, and the phone rang. The doctor said that a mistake was done in the lab and they needed to do more blood tests. Frustrated, we turned around and headed back to the hospital where he took more tests. Knowing it was past noon and we hadn't eaten all day, he suggested we go ahead home and he would let us know.

Exhausted and hungry we got home and there was a message on my phone. Please come back to the hospital....we have to do more blood tests. Well, at that time......I was more than frustrated. I actually called the doctor back and asked him angrily..."what kind of idiots do you have working there? Can't they even do a blood test right?"

He of course, apologized profusely. So back we went again. No, the idiots did the lab tests right. When the doctor saw the results of the test, he just couldn't believe his eyes....so he had me come back several times just to be sure!

He took me into a small room and asked me if I ever heard of Leukemia? I said of course, it's cancer......and then he proceeded to talk about my grandson's blood results and his platelet count and neutro-polys and the room was spinning.....and all I could say was "No..this can't be....except for the nosebleeds my grandson is a healthy boy! This can't be happening!"

But it was and it did! He advised me that my grandson had Leukemia and we didn't have much time......that I wasn't to go home...that I must rush...right now......right away... to the Children's Hospital. He had already called them.....they were expecting me! Dr. Zaroukian scared the crap out of me......you could see the worried look on his face!

I don't know how I got to my son's.......I don't remember driving, but I did! I had to go see my son in order for him to drive me to Ottawa...I remember him saying......'Mom, you've got to be kidding' and without another word he rushed us to Ottawa.

My grandson kept asking me what's wrong?.....and I kept saying...you keep having nosebleeds.....so they will do further tests to make sure you don't have these nosebleeds anymore. I thought for sure a big mistake was made.....after all the hospital I was at is a small hospital in our area........I was sure that in Ottawa at a big hospital....they would find a mistake was made...and we could go back home. Surely.....this was was just a big mistake!


When we got to the Hospital........sure enough there was a team from the Oncology clinic waiting for us......and rushed us through admitting. I don't remember much about the 1st 3 days......I know I met a lot of people.....my grandson had a lot of tests done but everything was hazy....I met doctors and specialists, social workers, anesthesiologists, etc......and they all talked at me and over me......with words that eventually would become commonplace but at that time I had no idea what they were talking about. AML and Leukemia, platelets, neutro-polys, chemotherapy, blasts and everyone seemed to have some kind of literature for me to read. They gave me books and pamphlets and print-outs and blood work.....I had stacks of reading material.....everyone I met shoved more information into my hands........and I couldn't understand diddly-squat. I just new the lights went out and the music died......and for quite awhile I was running on empty!